What I’m about to do may blow your mind, man. I’m going to take you on a ride through the doors of perception as if you were “salting.” While I may be an experienced traveler into the inner recesses of the mind, I am in no way a master.
Starting at the first plateau, you might notice the room and everything around you turning completely white. That’s totally normal, man, that’s just the disintegration of your ego, nothing big. Entering your inner-sphere as everything collapses into a singularity may seem a bit daunting at first, but with enough practice, you can claw through the shell like a baby chicken quick enough to get to the next step. Besides, you don’t want to stay here too long, because there’s too much of an Eric Clapton vibe.
Next, when you emerge from your shell, you might notice that your body is entirely solid-gold. At least mine is which I think means something about your sense of self-worth, but whatever. You’re going to walk down the shadowy corridor until you reach a fork in the road. Here’s where things get tricky: When you see the stovepipe hat-wearing gnome sitting on a chair reading “The Joy of Cooking,” he’s going to tell you that the path you take will alter your experience. If you choose the wrong path, you’re going to have a bad trip, and be forced to spend time contemplating matters horrific, like Iggy Pop’s terrifying still-shirtless body. If you choose the right path, you will be allowed to begin your journey into the fantasy world of your choosing. Mine has sentient fruit; it’s righteous. The trick to this gnarly test of will is that it doesn’t matter which path you take, all that matters is that you do so with conviction. If you can do that, you’ll be the Mayor of Mango Town in no time.
From there, the journey is yours to make, and the radical new places you will be taken will be yours and yours alone. Do not let Big Brother tell you where you can and cannot go. Man, where we travel there are no roads.
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